Door

Life is full of doors.
These doors could be some obstacle, barrier, curses in your life.
Our life is just like a quest of searching and seeking for the right key to the right door.
Every door opened your area will get bigger and there will be more place to explore.
The bigger the room gets the more difficult to find the next key to another door.

Sometime you misplace the key
Sometime you throw the key away
Sometime you just get too tired to find the key

and... Some doors is just not to be open.......................................

Recently the doors in my life is starting to open by itself. Am I am having more and more different view of everything around me?

Work: i am opening the doors to my boss approval in me. My fasting had make me more focus in what i am doing. Everything is great around, i am moving closer and closer to the vision i had. I know it will not be easy but i am moving, "seeking" for the key......

Haha "bringer of happiness" and a "seeker" hahaaa. Ros this sound very familiar ?

Many thing is flowing in my mind. i feel that there is so many things to do.
so many things to achieve.
My faith is strong, i will destroy all the doors! and break thru even futher !
For you i will do it, i will glorified you!

DONT stop GO find the key of life..............................

Super Randomness

I am in a super randomness mode now.
Like always, i would said so many things had happen, too lazy and too tired to keep my blog updated.
SO be rdy for a series of randomness and messiness..!!

Where should i start.. die la lol...

okok as usual work work work.
The pace in my work is getting faster and faster, or maybe i am getting slower and slower lol. After CNY, everyday i had been working at least 10 hours straight... But comparing to my boss, i am still having a life. Since over the weekend i had been hanging out over butterfactory til 6am.. Still trying hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I am a lazy person to things that i am not gd at or thing that simply doesnt interest me.
In order to make myself hardworking, I force myself to take up responsibility and role in the company.
Even thought i havnt got the recognition from my boss, i had spread my influence through out the company. initially, I wasnt in the organizing team for the company DND. But after my role in the CNY event and charity, i was somehow included in the organizing committee.

At first i thought WTH again... i dont even have time to do my own stuff.
On second thought, it is another opportunity for me to climb up the corporate ladder. This time round i must be able to cope well on my own work too. soon i am going to be no life..

Other then tat... still working hard .. drink less be healthy ba lol

light and darkness

it has been quite some time since i blog.

My life is getting busier everyday and somehow i am becoming happier too.
I could be a workaholic.

My work in Phillip is getting heavier as the time passes IT IS ONLY 2month plus wth.. Heavy in terms of the amount understanding i need to have in the financial world. So many stuff i dont even have a slightest bit of understanding. In term of my area of work i had gotten a hang of it, and now my daily work could be settle in the afternoon. Now i trying to settle my department website to do abit of marketing work for our product.
I am quite delighted that my manager let me talk to an external client today, i remember the first time i talk to the client i kana scold like mad.. Hey i had never been in this line ho.
She did correct a few of my mistake, practise makes perfect... i think i am ready to handle external client now. (external clients are dangerous they complain to MAS lol)

Side track abit, my calling smoking skill is really gd. 9 out of 10 times i can trick someone thinking that i am some sale person calling them lol. These 2 months of my calling time is like my normal whole year of calling time Wahahha.

Some bad thing happen, i guess i was too rush and i didnt pass my test... Got to buck up in reading and studying.. a LONG LONG WAY TO GO.

Had KPI session with bunch of directors today, why the hell am i ask to sit in...

But i had been pushing myself to the limit. I took up alot of extra work. Or you could say that my current "Yes" nature is giving me alot of work.

I was informed last week Friday to be the OIC of the CNY Event..Happy I had the favour of the lord!!!With such little time, and little man power.. IT seems impossible at first.
Within the first few days, I got to know alot of directors.
i even got the favour of the most powerful woman in my company..
Proven I am a auntie killer !! WAHAHAH...

And most of the stuff had been settled and organized by 2day.
Another happy things is that i always wanted to do something good for the public, ever since i CHANGE. . .. lol
Currently i am also organizing a charity drive for the Haiti earthquake Victims...
I really hope i could collect a huge fund and help those people over there..HEHE

Lots of stuff to learn lots of stuff to do.. hope i would be able to do more to help and serve more people hehe .. thats the vision i had now .. and more to come.

And why did i name my entry as light and darkness..
I understand darkness: 7sins... experience...
I used my anger and revengeful strength to push through my starting point of my life..
it doesnt feel gd even i manage to climb up lol..
Been through the darkest moment of my life..

I understand light beautiful life of being positive and nice..
It pull me through my darkest moment of my life ..

Now i am dangling in between. some words, some ones is interfering my believe ..
i feel some how tired sad .. tired of human..

Some out there may have heard of the story about lucifer, the lord of darkness, some call him the devil himself..
Lucifer was an fallen angel.
one of a few story that i seen was describing that Lucifer was one of the most power angel. He love god alot but he despise human. Man are full of flaws, full of sin...
He dont understand why god love Man so much, he dont understand why. End up he disobey the lord and become a fallen angel..

Some how i understand how Lucifer feels.. hahah
I will still try my best to love just like how my lord loves his people.. But i am a christian of my own views no one and nothing can change how i think.

I do feel one of my dearest friend, if he see this..
i would want him to learn more about chirstianity... it hurts that he had so much misunderstanding ..

BUSY

NOt time for blogging .. busy ... tests..

Taking all the trading qualification.. CFMAS ...
and tmr morning i got SBL test from my boss..
i try to squeese sometime soon to write..

HEEHEH
WORLD PEACE !!

oo i got a book from fu and sab.. "I KISS DATING GoodBYE"
Hmm sign? lol... we will see...

Nitez friends and everyone hehe

WIsdom... Good or evil?

Before i write, this is not a emo post lol... i no longer emo!!! ok .. hahaha
Just kidding... it is just...
A single thought had been wondering around my mind for the last few weeks..

This question: IS wisdom is good or bad?
Is knowledge good of bad.?

We human had been constantly seeking knowledge.. wanting to know more...

But if you think of it, it is knowledge that tell us what is good and bad..
And it is bad, evil that feeds on wisdom.
The 7 sins feeds on wisdom... it is because of knowledge and wisdom evil is born...

Viewing from a religious point of view, when god created Adam and eve.
Eve was tempted by the snake and bought the apple from the forbidden tree to Adam..
By eating the apple, they open the Pandora box, Adam and eve grew wisdom, they know what is shame, they know that they are naked... They gain the knowledge of lust, greed, gluttony, wrath, sloth, pride and envy... And thus evil is born....

And it is also because of knowledge, we know all this is evil, and those who had consciouses will try to prevent and stop themselves from committing sins...

Therefore i got a conclusion, that wisdom and knowledge is just like a double edge sword...
can be use for the good or for the bad ...

So is that the case that human are born evil, and they use knowledge for the bad..
or is that the case that human are born good, and it is knowledge and wisdom that corrupt their mind ...

if a baby or a kid who knows nothing, completely innocent, kills maybe a cat or a dog, but he don't know it is right or wrong, but just fun to himself, he would just laugh and walk away.
IS he in the wrong, is he evil... it is us with the wisdom/knowledge that judge it, and feel that it is completely sick...
but to the kid, it is not wrong...

chicken and egg? hmm or there is really an answer ..
guess this will be my first question that i will ask god when i go heaven lol!!!

just too many things is happening in my mind now ...
hmm lots of stuff... many things.... hahah wisdom and knowledge..
other then this, my career is moving well..
i am taking over most of HOD work.. i even too over her seat physically.. lol!

long way to go, tired but i am excited to explore what good things that lies ahead of me in the future hehe..

back to work

It had been a really busy week... i still dont have the time to write about my taiwan trip..
The photos that i post on facebook should explain abit haha...

Tired... so much to do, and yet i am happy to go work...

i will try to write something about taiwan when i got the energy.. hahha

I am back!

I am back from my painful and tiring, yet enjoyable 17days of reservice and my taiwan trip!

thinking back i wonder... nothing is impossible lol!

IT will take sometime for me to write my whole experience.
There will be alot photos too hehe

Hamster nursery offically open

last night after dinner with my friend, i went over to her house to take her hamster.

She going back to hongkong for the next 1month, so i offer myself to help.
Hahah this is the 2nd batch of hamster i am taking care of.

OK it is not easy LOL
I personally experience the power of male hamster!

What happen last night was.. i was playing with BB my friend hamster..
love him so much ! so fat so soft so much meat.
he is less active comparing to hachi. and he will just sleep on your hand..
Totally melted at this sight...!

so after i had enough of BB i place him back in his tank, and went over to meet hachi.
when i go over and try to pick him up, he smell my hand and then madness!!!

He bite my hand and started to go crazy!...
i flick his nose as a warning, and this make it worst!
he start attack my hand !! my god !!! mad hamster on the lose!!!

i use the toilet roll as a shield, omg i am like fighting a mini dragon!
i gave up and let go of the toilet roll as i see him show his fury on the toilet roll.
Quite piss off at him... very violent nature. i flick him a few time which end up pissing him off more and myself... i walk away and look at bb..

i try to pet him, and guess what.... now my hand has hachi scent..
i think i saw it in slow motion BB plunge his fangs into my finger..
I thought it was just a nibble, funny thing is that it start to get really painful lol...

holding my wounded finger i walk away with a lesson..
NEVER mess with 2 male hamsters ! they kill they destroy....!

over on sunday, i had a big operation of cleaning BB, hachi and the 2 small robo.
Wooo took me quite a while.. WAS very tired ... sleep the whole sunday after that... more story of what happen in a while lol!!

2012!

End of world!!! WHAHAHA

Recently i had been reading the "today" paper on my way to work.

I realize the world is very concern about current global climate problem.
Finally it takes so many hundreds and thousands of years before everyone is scare of the end of world. And finally human realize how much of a parasitic human nature is.

So there is some sort of survey done:

how teens help to save the Earth:
Recycle 42%
save water 29%
walk instead of being driven around 13%
plant trees 10%

issues they are most concerned about
ozone layer reduction 21%
air pollution 13%
Climate change 13%
animal extinction 11%
Floods 9%
deforestation 6%

I THOUGHT TREES ARE IMPORTANT!!!
and wth to animal extinction! lol... Man have little compassionate heart to other species, this including trees...

Little that people know trees are the most important!!!

What the main thing that is causing global warming? The excess carbon dioxide in the air. And why is there so much carbon dioxide?
1.) Too much burning!!! oil, industries ... burning of trees by some dumb country..
2.) there is not enough, or the trees are not fast enough to convert all this carbon dioxide to oxygen..

SO trees are the long term method to clear current global climate problem.. ERM guess not much people pay attention to their science class during their secondary school..

pls be environmental, this is the world which we live it.
if everyone do their part, the world will be beautiful.

Random

I feel that i am really a very random person..

i not a expert in the command of speech, but i love to talk a lot. if you trigger the topic i like i can spill out ton of stuff.. of randomness lol!!

i believe most of my friend would experience my randomness all the time..
i could be discussing somethings at a moment and next i will be asking a totally irrelevant question.

I have too much thoughts at very single moment .. WAHAHAH.. does it have to do with my gemini character?
I love knowledge.. i have a thirst for knowledge, i want to learning all sort of weird stuff in life..
That is why i am very keen to watch National Geography Channel.. Cause life itself is amazing.. every things around, even the smallest of how life is form is damm interesting. So sometime in my own randomness time i make read up such stuff. Call me random or call me flicker-minded, it is just a line difference lol..

Recently i found someone who is as weird as me.. or i could say share such randomness like me
I dont normally share my crazy thoughts, theory, believe or what ever you call it with my friends and others. Cause normally they wouldn't be interested, and would just get bored by it lol.

If you realize that normally human is more self centered, they are only concern about things around them and things that benefit them. (randomness again)

I didn't expect this person to also believe in Gaia theory also! Guess that what nature freak like us will believe lol.. interesting interesting, out of all those randomness, there is a small coincidence in life..

I read the newspaper 2day and realize that scientist discover that carbon dioxide is the main cause of global warming, countries around the world is trying their best to cut down carbon dioxide emission by 2% every year.. Great new to our descendence .. LIKE if most of us would care!!!! LOL.. i am saying most ho not everyone lol! trying hard not to judge .. hiaz..

Everyone would have the mindset of, "ah end of world, i will never live to see it!" or "end of world never thought of it, i am too busy with my own stuff to think of some other things".
Shit i am judging again lol..

save the earth, you damm parasitic human beings.. lol!!! i want to be white blood cell lol!!!!
Hmm maybe osama is a believer of Gaia theory also LOL he is the biggest white blood cell whahah!

Think i am getting old

Over the past few days, i realize my perception to many things in my life had change a lot..

I went out for dinner with one of my friends on Tuesday night, we really had a good time.
Ha ha it has been a long time that i had dinner at east coast, being over excited, i over order food..

In the end both of us couldn't finish the food, hmm i realize she doesn't eat that much not like someone else i know of lol! As usual i don't eat much also lol!

After dinner we have a nice stroll alone the beach of east coast... trying to digest the huge amount of food we had..

After which we go BFD!!!!! (Big XXXXXXX XXXX) for a small drinking session.
We talk many stuff many interesting stuff..

I realize my concept and view in many things had change... I feel those stuff that i did in the past was childish and dumb, BUT it is fun .. that is the meaning of young and crazy..

I told her that the most crazy thing i did is that i play "Hai Dai" in the middle of the night in the streets of Australia HAHA..

Little that she know that, when i go BBQ in east coast or paris, we a bunch of guy and girls all would hide in the woman toilet in the night when it rains..

Lots of silly, crazy fun still i did.. HAHA silly but good memories... lol!
i getting old !!!!!

hiaz... dont...

I agree that education doesn't make someone clever, or even successful in life..
It is just a platform, or a base to help someone to grew their wisdom and become successful..
There are many people out there who don't have any education but is earning more then those who have load of education.... I KNOW THAT! SEEING IT EVERYDAY NOW!

someone post something on facebook..

that someone friend start commenting on it, because it is quite offending for their career, they become quite angry and start saying some bad stuff ...
then that someone friend start making a big deal out of it on facebook..

then more and more throw in comment...

This make them look bad.. makes them looks stupid is small hearted..

Makes what others comment about them, more truthful more accurate...

therefore i always say dont judge people even if others judge you...
Stay with a big heart and people will respect you at what ever you do...
Start having a small heart and complain or judge, you look petty and dumb lol...

commented..

over the weekend, sab told me something that i should be happy or maybe sad .. LOL

She told me that GI said that i dress much better then the first time she saw me in service..
She commented that i dress VERY BUANG when i come service last time.
I was like laughing so badly... cause service is alwaysafter my chionging on sat night..
i would be in a very bad and blur state, cause normally i only had like 2hours of sleep that night lol!.
Also she told me that when she first saw my ex, she wonder how come someone like me
would be able to be with her.. lol

I believe most of my friends out there know that i dont really care about my appearance .

The first time GI saw me in zouk she had that who is this face when i said hi to her. I wasnt on my spec, and i am wearing a jeans and a polo t, i wasnt on my normal bermudas and tshit lol!

Guess i got too comfortable and start forgetting that "god require golden outfit, and human require a gd outfit" this common knowledge lol..

Ah i just only slack going to church ma.. lol

At least sab give a nice comment, she said "after buying skinny jeans , can see y i got my ex"
I WAS Laughing like mad, cause recently i have been attracting the wrong crowd..
GAYs and GAYS and gays...
LOL my ex is a very manly person maybe thats why... deep inside she is just a gay lol!!!!
And my ex-walton collegue commented that i shouldnt give that "Ying Dang" look all the time.. They say gays like it... i am like "i have smalls eyes la .." i shouldnt smile too much, i should look fierce woth big big eyes staring at everyone it is much better lol..

O nice reminder, that even that i am very comfortable to a place or a person, i should never slack on my appearance lol...

HAHA friends are so gd to have around... dumb dumb me ..

Angry!

Angry!!! angry.....
These few days, all i see is bad drivers. Crazy drivers, slow drivers...

Hiaz refer to my first post you will see my anger... lol!
there is this dumb guy who drive like 80km on the first lane hogging the road. When i highlighted him he still continue with his dumb speed hogging the road...
My father said just over take tat guy... After i over take, that guy start flashing light on me with his pathetic speed., just in a few sec i could even see him in my rear mirror.
Seriously that is way too pathetic.....
Or maybe god is telling me to slow down again.. haha

happy.. moving closer to my dreams..

2day is the first day that i truly start taking over some of the work in phillip...

ONE WORD tired....
it was a damm busy day...
picking up call to confirm trade..
confirm lending and borrowing..

click big number with my hand trembling...
looking at impossible numbers....

learning from all the senior ...

SBL really need to hands on then i know how come people keep telling me i am in a shit hole lol...

even thought my work is within the trading house of 830 to 530...
it is a crazy of unlimited work to do .. HAHAH scary.... maybe programming is more fun lol

But it is wat i really want to do... moving to the finanical world..
it is so beautiful... money is so beautiful lol...

during lunch time, i start digging infomation from my senoir colleague..
On how is phillip, and how come they work there for like 10 over years some even 20 plus years...
Some really interesting information i digged out !!!!...
I ask one of the senior SBL colleague why is she doing dealing now...
This colleague is not a simple dealer... she handle big, i say big client.. the number is way too way too ... due to my limited vocab.. i cannot find a word for it lol!!!

She told me "aiyo it is common for people to move out of SBL la.., alot of the prop trader and dealer in the company can from SBL.........!! and once they gd at trading they will ask to become a reminser..!!"
I AM LIKE WTH>>>>>>>>>>> ISNT THIS WAT I WANT >>>>>>>

sometime i really feel my life is like a exciting story... been thru hell, see heaven, then see hell again.. now heaven...
WA KAO ... but i believe the heaven i am seeing now will be there forever for me..

every gd little things is falling into place... MY SECRET...
my laws of attraction....
why the hell i didnt kno this earlier...
but if i know earlier i may not be ready for all this... life is somehow.. interesting.. and amazing.. tiring sometimes la lol!

i know i still got alot to learn and a long way to go,
feel so small but the possibility of growing is aLOT more ...
VEry excited in everything..... but i need to take step by step.. even it seem that the pace around me is speeding lol...

Happiness comes to you if you believe in it..
Success comes to you if you believe in it..

simple but meaningful

somethings some words in life are just plain old simple...

life could be simple...

happiness could be just having a small bread when u are really hungry..
happiness could be just like coming home after a tired day, and see ur hamster do some really cute stuff
happiness could be just lieing on ur bed and writing ur blog....

after a tired day of work i saw my dear hamster hachi did something tat is way too cute.
i clean up his tank, and as usual once i did tat he will be really excited going into his toliet/house...
he would roll on the sand and clean himself... way too cute...
but this time he did something more funny..
one of my friend msg me a pic of her cute hamster lieing on his back sleeping..
looking at how cute it is, i turn and look at hachi.
As usual he is cleaning himself on the sand rolling.. then he suddenly pick up one of his foot with his 2 hand, and start chewing on it.
WAHAHAH naturally he just lost his balance and fall on his back.. !!! argh i wanted to take a photo... but once the camera is out he stop doing it.. crap...

HAHA..
over my service last weekend i was reminded on something tat is so simple that i almost forgot about it..
About how to become successful in life... the method is so so simple...
Simply by building ur core strength...
Example....

someone will not get sick easily if he/she exercise everyday, eat healthy, have enough rest.
You will up ur core strength of health..

someone will be able to get gd result in exam if he/she study everyday, work hard and build on his/her core strength of wisdom.

i dont kno if anyone out there notice..
successful people are usually more hardworking then others, more humble then others...
over years of building their core, and not complain they become successfull..

i do agree there are some people that are successful and not hardworking and humble... but does their success stay long ?
usually it doesnt.....

simple thing like doing ur daily work, being hardwork and humble, serving others...
how many people out there can do it... how many.....

back to my exercise regime

gaining weight and losing my muscle...
i decided to start my exercise regime..

last night after work i meet cy for a run in bedok reservior...

It will be a ard 5km run.. after 4km i flaten... cy pace is way too much for me...
plus i was talking way too much while i run...

at the 4km mark i tried to sprint and i almost falling ... leg to weak LOL

Need alot more training...

guess i will be joining a gym soon ..

back to the corprate world (dreams part 2)

1 week plus has pass, time seem moving real fast..

Time really doesnt wait... It is coming to the end of 2009... the worst and the best and the biggest change year of my life....
It felt so long and yet so short...

I rmb a few weeks ago xx was comment that it felt so long for this year...
Maybe just this year it self he had been seeing me as much as he had for the past 3 years lol..

I was deeply touch for the past few weeks regarding the sermon on dreams...

I would dare to say i am a big dreamer... I believe lots of my friends would say the same ..
I always been dreaming about getting the best job earning big bucks..
Being a broker or trader.... semi retire at the age of 35..
And start my own cafe... LOL
They keep asking me you sure you can become or not ...

Dreams who dont have it... i believe everyone else out there will have a dream of their own..

Wanted to be rich, Live in a big big house, drive big big car...
Maybe someone else who have the dream of having someone to love ...
someone who love him/her alot...

Big big dreams like earn 10 billion and use it to buy a island then only let rich people to go to tat island to stay... (a dream of someone that i once know WAHAHHA)

Mine is pretty simple.. i may had say about this a million time..
Earn alot, semi retire at age 35 and own my own cafe... become multi-nation brand..
Live in a big big white bungalow, drive my SLK...
ERM woman... hmm lol!!

I DARE EACH OF u out there to state ur dream... DO you ever believe you can do it ..?

I know i can it is just a matter of time...

How many people out there willing to step out of their comfort zone and walk on the path of their dreamz?

One person i really respect is sabrina... even thought she always tease me, she is one of the woman that i respected the most..
Fighting for her own dream... doing the impossible...

Some may say their dream is impossible to achieve... i would just say they are cowards and YES BIG BIG COWARDS.
Even impossible is always saying "i m possible" (copyright from christina LOL)

I wouldnt want to split out all the godly message tat i believe in here...
But i would just like to encourage many people out there..
I did and have done it, encouraging someone to achieve her childhood dreams..
And now she is living it... she may not rmb or feel anything but
somehow i am very happy for her lol...

Whatever is stopping you to achieve your dream is urself and time....
Life is not like you ask for something and something will come to you...
only thing that you get thru hard work you will cherish it..

There are 4 reason why there is a delay in your dreams................
1.) There could be some other things that you have to do first...
(example suffer and rot, then you will awake and know what to do and start working hard towards it)

Ah i dont want to use god ... damm
2.) God is giving you the time to get yourself ready for the responsibility that your dreams carry.
(for example, maybe you want to be some big fuck CEO, if you are not mature and not responsible enough, how are you going to manage ur employee how are you going to take the responsibility of thousand of employee lifes..)

3.) Lazy people want much but get little, but hardworking people get wat he want.. eventually lol.... Passion in wat you do is very important..
so i still believe you must do wat you love in order to be successful...

4.) time is required for you to deal with you own problem, your own weakness... without clearing you own weakness you never become successful..

I myself is a very gd example..
even i had gone thru alot this year, but i know it is not enough for me..
I need more time to strengthen myself..
2years time i will go to the front desk (even i am counted as in the front desk now) and fight for my dream...

take note of the gd and throw away all the bad LOL
sorry if i offended anyone lol!!!

Mango cheese cake for sale lol

and yes beautiful cheese cake and the most delicious one hehe

Most scary monster

Monster, devil...
Big huge dangerous man holding a gun...

Can they hurt you?
Ha, what can they do ? at most hurt you physically, kill you?

Somehow i suddenly got a thought tat, nothing can hurt you as much as the one you love the most hurt you.. Betrayal!!?

I was quite disappointed with my bro sticking his soul into his world again..
last time i tried to get in his world by join his gaming world, and tried to understand him.
i thought i can drag him back, but now he is going back again...

I feel that i had let him down as a brother... forget about him for the last 2years..
i thought that he had grow up, or simply i was selfish, i only care about myself...
on way or the other i lost my soul too, punishment .........

why should i hold on to something in the past that hurt me and not move on .......

I trying to save everything around me... luckily my friends are back with me ...
Career is picking up... i going towards my dream... currently in phillips and working in the trading room.. DREAM close lol.. Everything will fall into my planning .. gogogo !

35 i will open my own cafe... and be a fund manager...

Still there is alot of work and alot more to do... hiaz i really hope i could get back wat i had last time ...

There is still one dark dark area in my life, tat made me so difficult to trust again..
trust love? ... or believe tat there is true love again...
i wonder why i am coming back to this thought again...
maybe the pain in me had never left..
maybe i just hid the pain...
or maybe i am really just a silly man....

i am still praying to let myself walk out of this, believe tat love is something that could happen again..

Never let down the person that love you the most!...